Veronica Nicole Chapman is the founder and CEO of Boxxout Enterprises. She is an author and playwriter, having and produced the play, Ancestors Inc., a motivational play for youths, and having published the book, The Advent of Planet Martyr, An Innovative Social Commentary
“Friends, How many of us have them? Friends, Ones we can depend on…Friends…” – Whodini
As a child I was exposed to many genres of music. My mother really loved Hip-Hop so as an 80’s baby I heard a lot of it. When asked to cover the topic of friendship the hit “Friends” recorded by the rap group Whodini immediately came to mind.
You often hear people say, “you can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends.” It’s usually stated in either a flip or dismissive manner as a way of liberating oneself from the heartbreak and stress family members can cause. Often times, however, people are so focused on using that statement to console themselves, that they overlook the inherent onus it places on them. – How do you choose your friends? What types of friends do you attract? And what does your choice of friends say about you?
“Friends…Is a word we use everyday, Most the time we use it in the wrong way, Now you can look the word up, again and again, But the dictionary doesn’t know the meaning of friends…”
Whodini had it right. The dictionary doesn’t know the meaning of “friends”. Each person determines the meaning for him or herself. I believe to attract and keep great friends you have to be a great friend. But to be a great friend, you first have to love and trust yourself, and be confident in your own abilities. Only then will you attract the types of people you would want to choose as friends.
Do you encourage yourself and hold yourself accountable? Do you treat yourself well and forgive others and yourself? Have you spent enough time alone to really know who you are so you can avoid the types of relationships you don’t want, and attract the relationships you want and believe you deserve? If so, then your best friends will also be women or men who will encourage you as you encourage them. They will hold you accountable, as you should them. Your best friends will also be comfortable and confident in themselves. – So as you work to fulfill your purpose there will be no haters in this bunch!
Through mutual support and love, you and your best friends will grow together; support each other when the trials of life inevitably come knocking; and respectfully keep each other in check in case one of you gets out of control!
“And if you ask me, you know, I couldn’t be much help, Because a friend is somebody you judge for yourself…”
So as the saying goes, “you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends.” I’m adding one more line to that adage. - First you have to choose yourself!